Monday, April 13, 2009

Episode 11 Richard Nixon

Episode 11, Richard Nixon

Welcome once more to another fantastic episode of Jay Wont dart's podcast, where I blabber on about things you dont really want to know about. The opening is a clip from the No Agenda podcast with Adam Curry and John C Dvorak.

This episode, one of the worst presidents in Americas history, no not Dubya, but Richard Nixon. I'm doing this episode before one of my favourite podcasts, Tank Riot, covers Nixon, although I hope they decide to talk about him because Im not going to be as accurate as their excellent podcasts are. By all means, make sure you search for " Tank Riot " on the iTunes store, and listen to Viktor, Sputnik and Tor's podcast :)

Richard MILHOUS Nixon was born in 1913, sounds like such a long time ago now. He died in 1994, at the age of 81. I'd love to know what he would think of all the Nixon Parodies.

As a New Zealander, I'd heard alot about Richard Nixon, mostly parodies of him, and about what an awful president he was. He seemed to hate everyone in the world, being portrayed as a grouchy old white guy, with a gravelly, angry sounding voice. If he were an animal, he'd be a bulldog. I've heard a few actual nixon speechs, and he doesnt sound much like the common impression, but its stuck in pop culture. I'll try and do a crappy impression, im not any good at all, but it'll give you an idea. Its pretty poor , but I'll try it a couple times for fun.

< say something in richard nixon impression voice "im richard nixon, i hate you drugged out hippies listening to this new fangled podcast">

I guess the vibe I'm going for is a rabid sean connery.

I do have one of his most famous speeches, the Checkers speech to play later, and you'll probably notice he doesnt sound that much like his parody voice. I guess its one of those things thats been built up through the ages, that Nixon is an evil, evil man, in the Hitler category, and that he sounded awful to match his black heart.

The Checkers speech is important as its full with nixon cliches, it has a whole bunch of his most well known lines.

One rumoured quote that I wish I had a recording of, he found out that J Edger Hoover died, and said jesus christ! that old cocksucker!

That would be a great clip to play.

Nows as good a time as any to play my Obama Clip collection, these little beauties deserve an episode of my podcast all to themselves. Basically, current President Barrack Obama read his own audio book, he reads all the lines in his book Audacity of Hope, including lines from a racist sounding character who swears.

These clips went around the news a while ago, I just love hearing Obama swear , sounding like a pervert, and how he hates whitey.

awesome huh? Its going to be interesting to see what people think of Obama in a few years, if he was as great as everyone hoped. I realise saying that, i've just made this podcast feel dated, so future listeners, feel free to make fun of us silly 2009 people.

Nixon has some really soppy quotes, stuff about hoping to be remembered as a good man, a peacemaker, that kind of stuff. Real Obama stuff, thats what I was getting to before. But, Nixon had this thing about recording conversations, and that came back to haunt him, in the same way im going to be forever plagued by my shitty nixon impression.

"You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana are Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists. "

"The Jews are irreligious, atheistic, immoral bunch of bastards. "

Richard Nixon is well known for the Vietnam War. Somehow people actually liked Richard Nixon at first, because he served two terms as President. Nixon stood down, and resigned from presidency because he was likely to be impeached, kicked out of the white house, from the Watergate scandal. I'll talk about that in due time.

Nixon was a Quaker, a religion basically thought of as American, although it was started in the UK. The full name of the religion is "religious society of friends", ew, makes it sound like a cult. According to Wikipedia, there are less than 400,000 quakers alive today, and it seems to be just in America.

Being in the "religious society of friends", a quaker, Richard Nixon was exempt from millitary conscription, but he chose to join the US Navy in 1942.

After World War II, Nixon got a seat in the house of representatives, he became a politician and represented California.

Quoting straight from Wikipedia,

I love the name of that group, House Committee on Un-American Activities, Un American activities HA! Imagine if New Zealand has a committee to find out Un New Zealander activities, it sounds like people have to conform to government standards for day to day life! Women have to act like perfect little wives all the time, cripes! The name was changed to "Internal Security" before it was gotten rid of a few years later. Something the House Committee on Un American Activities was known for was the Hollywood Black List, where the government cracked down on Hollywood for fear that popular films were housing communist propaganda! "thats uhn erh-mery-cun!"

During another political election, Nixon was up against a woman, Helen Douglas, that he beat by accusing her of being "pink right down to her underwear". Apparently most women's undies at the time were pink, and pink, or pinko is a term for someone who likes communists, pink looking like a washed out red. Douglas started calling Nixon "tricky dick". Both nicknames sound pretty rude to me.

In 1952 Dwight Eisenhower was president of America, and Richard Nixon was Vice President.

Here comes a great speech of Nixons, the Checkers Speech as its now known.

September 23rd, 1952, Nixon appeared on television to defend himself after he had been accused of misspending money.

Richard Nixon gave a review of his campaigns funding, and mentioned his own money situation. The Checkers speech is in pop culture because of some of the funny stuff hidden amongst the serious tone, Nixon mentions his wife PAT, sounds like a male farmer's name when nixon says it, well she wore a "Respectable Republican cloth coat", they didnt steal money from the public to spend on mink coats, she made do with a honest and cheap "cloth coat". The reason why the speech is known as the Checkers speech? At the very end Nixon mentions how his children wanted a dog, and a farmer sent him a dog, it sounds quite cruel how the dog was sent to him. Nixon says he wont give the donated dog back, because his children love it, they've called it Checkers.

I feel bad for making fun of his wifes name, reading more about Pat, she was born Thelma, but her father called her Pat because of their irish background. She liked the name Pat better and called herself that, or sometimes Patricia. Reading more about Pat Nixon, she did a lot of volunteer work, helped disabled children, and orphans.

I'll play part of the Checker speech now, its 11 minutes long.

Nixon doesnt sound anything like this, does he?

Now I'll talk about the 1960's Presidential Election.

Richard Nixon ran for president as a republican, against John F Kennedy, a democrat. The election was close the whole time, with Nixon running on his experience, and Kennedy wanting change, sounds a bit like John McCain vs Barrack Obama, or Helen Clark vs John Key. We know how this is going to turn out!

John F Kennedy claimed that the USA was now behind the Soviet Union when it came to missiles, The Missile Gap. Television was a new phenomenon, the 1960 presidential debate was the first to be televised. In the first debate, Nixon was recovering from illness, and didnt wear much makeup. Nixon looked old, fat, tired and confused, you can see him sweating. John F Kennedy looked comfortable in comparison. This has become a pop culture moment, often made fun of on Futurama, or The Simpsons, where a candidate is sweating and drowsy, like Mayor Quimby, and his opponent easily wins based on appearence.

Wikipedia mentions that people who saw the debate on television thought JFK was the winner, but those who only heard what the two presidential candidates were saying thought Nixon won the day. Could it be that a persons appearance affected the voters that much?

When the election was over, Nixon had lost by just 120,000 votes. Amazing. There was some confusion and charges of vote fraud, in the end its said to have been 120 000 votes between Nixon and the new President John F Kennedy.

After losing to Kennedy, Nixon moved back to California where he was a lawyer. In 1968, Nixon ran for president once more.

The 1968 election was at a difficult time, with racial tensions and hippies a problem. Many civil rights race riots occured, and divided the nation, and left wing students protested the Vietnam war, often getting into massive fights with police.

Quoting straight from Wikipedia,

Nixon ran a campaign promising Law and Order, to calm down all the violent protests that had been occurring. In a campaign promise, Nixon promised to end the conscription draft, to not force people to join the military to fight in Vietnam.

Nixon won the election against democrat Hubert Humphrey, by about 1%. One of Nixons slogans was "Nixons the one", sounds like something The Daily Show would make fun of.

In 1969, man walked on the moon, July 20th President Richard Nixon spoke live (with a considerable delay due to distance) with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, two of the three astronauts. Not very well known third astronaut, Michael Collins had to stay aboard the main module and keep it in space, he didnt get to stand on the moon.

Nixon approved development of the Space Shuttle, but was against a manned voyage to Mars, and a permanent base on the moon.

Nixon is also known for being friendly to China, who had split with the soviet union. The Chinese table tennis team invited the top American team to join them for a demonstration competition, it was one of the first times in twenty years that americans were allowed into China. These ping pong matches were included in Forest Gump, where Forest goes to China to play Ping Pong.

America and China became quite friendly, and fearing that the two would work together, the Soviet Union relaxed its policies towards both, for fear of provoking a war. This is called d├ętente "day tont", a french word which is basically used as standing down from conflict during a war.

""You see: homosexuality, dope, immorality in general -- these are the enemies of strong societies. That's why the Communists and the left-wingers are pushing the stuff; they're trying to destroy us.""

In 1973 Richard Nixon served a second term as president, he was voted in by a landslide, gaining over 60% of the votes.

Inflation became a problem, and to counter it Nixon had price controls set, controlling the market prices. The public didnt like this idea, according to Wikipedia meat disappeared from grocery stores and farmers DROWNED chickens rather than sell them at a loss.

Nixon chose to remove the gold standard, I dont quite understand economics like this so I'll quote from Wikipedia alot here. Basically, the US dollar was tied to gold bars, sitting in bank vaults or wherever they were kept. Deflation stepped in, the american dollar wasnt worth as much as it was before. OPEC, which is a group of countries that export oil, wasnt getting paid the same for oil, if we say they were getting paid $100 dollars for each barrel of oil, then that 100 dollars was only worth half as much as before, $50, now that the american dollar was lower. I made both those values up by the way, but basically the oil sellers were not getting paid what they wanted anymore. OPEC cut production, and raised prices for oil.

From Wikipedia

I love the quote from the Shah of Iran, about how they get screwed on the price of goods, so now they're treating the Western World the same way. It sounds fair to me, although it started the 1973 oil crisis.

The 1973 Oil Crisis affected america quite deeply, many petrol stations would be out of petrol all together, with signs saying exactly that, "out of gas". Fuel rationing was in place,
in the U.S., drivers of vehicles with license plates having an odd number as the last digit (or a vanity license plate) were allowed to purchase gasoline for their cars only on odd-numbered days of the month, while drivers of vehicles with even-numbered license plates were allowed to purchase fuel only on even-numbered days

The US Car makers, you know those guys who make really crappy cars? And are all pretty much bankrupt right now? Well, they started making smaller cars finally, and NASCAR reduced its car race distances by a whopping 10 percent.

"I can't shake hands with anybody from San Francisco."

Alternative fuels were seeked, in New Zealand it became semi popular to have cars that could also use LPG, natural gas, a conversion cost a thousand dollars or so, im not sure who much it cost at the time, I think its somewhere around the three thousand dollar mark now, dont hate me if Im wrong!

Inside the car, you have a knob to turn, you can run on both petrol or gas, you have the normal fuel tank, petrol, as well as a gas cylinder in the boot etc. I think its a pretty cool idea, to be so much more reliant, even if its kinda wacky. I know someone with a LPG capable car, it seems pretty interesting. I do think with LPG you dont have as good performance, you dont get as much engine power, but its still alot cheaper than petrol to use.

The Soviet Union exported oil , their economy had been bad for a while, but now they had much more demand for oil, so americans could really have been helping out their arch nemesis, the Soviet Union, by having to buy their oil.

Nixon mandated a new speed limit of 55 miles per hour, for the rest of the world thats about 90 kilometres per hour. This was to save fuel. Prior to the new speed limit, state set their own maximum speed limit, with some states being around 120 kilometres per hour, and apparently some rural roads you had no real speed limit, and could go as fast as you wanted.

I'll end with Watergate.

Watergate deserves its own episode, hopefully on Tank Riot.

The Watergate Complex is a apartment type hotel set of buildings in Washington DC. The buildings are in some funky retro looking shapes, including one (or two) thats a curled C shape, and another J shaped building.

On the 28th of May, 1972, a team of burglars working for Nixon's re election campaign broke in and installed wiretaps and took photos of the Democratic National Committee's offices inside the Watergate complex. The installed "bugs" were listened to from a hotel across the street. During a second break in, to replace a wiretap that had become faulty,five burglars were caught, and the Watergate scandal begun.

The Washington Post covered the story, and reporters used an FBI Informant who was known as "Deep Throat" to show how the men caught were working for Richard Nixon.
Deep Throat is a famous name, it was apparently from a porn movie of the same name, guess what happens in the movie.

Deep Throat is also used as a codename in Metal Gear Solid. Also, The Simpsons have had fun with the character, like Smithers meeting The Simpson family in a car park late at night to give them tips, this is based on the real Deep Throat.

Nixon at first tried to down play the convictions. It became known that Richard Nixon had a secret recording system setup, where things he said, conversations on his phones etc were recorded on tape. These Nixon tapes are on the internet, and are listened to still to find information about what happened.

Something interesting on one of the tapes, theres an 18 minute and 20 second gap. The first 5 minutes is apparently from Nixons secretary Rose Mary Woods, who accidentally hit record on her tape recorder controls while she reached for her telephone. Theres still controversy about this, Rose Mary Woods was asked to recreate how she accidentally hit record and wiped part of a tape, theres a photo on Wikipedia and its pretty odd how a leg is stretching out one way and her arms are another reaching for the phone. There are conspiracies that it was not an accidental wiping.

< i am not a crook clip >

I got these quotes from the Nixon Tapes from the article on Nixon, normally is thought of as just incredibly sick photos of rotting bodies and porn, but they have a great library resource too, believe me! They make fun of history true, but you'll learn interesting things that are not on Wikipedia because they sound biased. Theres a great photo of "win with dick bubble gum cigars, presidential favorites bubble gum cigars 5cents" I'll spare you my Nixon impression, I know its terrible.

During the watergate scandal, President Nixons approval rating fell to 23 percent support. Gerald Ford, Vice President, took over the presidency as Nixon resigned, facing impeachment, which is a being kicked out of the President job.

Nixon delivered the news of his resignation on television, and on the 9th of August 1974 he left office. He never admitted breaking the law, but regretted making some bad decisions.

The new president Gerald Ford pardoned Nixon of any crimes he MAY have committed. The president can basically overturn any conviction, getting people off death sentances etc.

Something very weird, on the evening of the pardon from newly elected President Ford, Nixon felt very sore, his left leg had swelled to three times its normal size. Phlebitis, flu-bite-is had returned, he had blood clots. This is mentioned in a Futurama episode that I'll play clips from very soon.

Ah what the hell, I'll try some more of my Nixon impression, just because you want to hear it so bad.

By the way, the word dike here means like a damn, not something else that would be funny coming from Nixon. Here he is talking with Henry Kissinger.

"Nixon: I still think we ought to take the North Vietnamese dikes out now. Will that drown people?
Kissinger: About two hundred thousand people.
Nixon: No, no, no, I'd rather use the nuclear bomb. Have you got that, Henry?
Kissinger: That, I think, would just be too much.
Nixon: The nuclear bomb, does that bother you?...I just want you to think big, Henry, for Christsakes."

doing that voice is killing the back of my throat! I cant do it too fast, or for long! Bear with me ok?

"Nixon: The only place where you and I disagree ... is with regard to the bombing. You're so goddamned concerned about civilians and I don't give a damn. I don't care.
Kissinger: I'm concerned about the civilians because I don't want the world to be mobilized against you as a butcher.

Theres a great episode of futurama called " A Head In The Polls", you really should google it, wikipedia has a great article about it. In Futurama, many famous dead people have been somehow kept alive as heads in glass jars filled with water, they get fed with what looks like goldfish food, flakes that get put into the jar. The heads themselves are bolted to the bottom of the jar, and the persons name is on a little plaque. Richard Nixons Head, as its often called, keeps turning up over the years, in A Head In The Polls he wants to be president again. "No-body" can be president more than twice, which Nixon was, but with a "new robot body" he runs for President against two idiot identical clones, one says one thing and the other says it slightly different. Throughout the episode many famous Nixon moments come up, I've got some clips to play now. Listen for Checkers the dog, which he doesnt want to give back, Checkers is also just a head in a jar, Nixons "good republican body", reffering to how Pat didnt have a fancy coat, but a good republican cloth coat, how Gerald Ford pardoned Nixon for any wrongdoings he may have done, and just some general made up evil nixon stuff! You'll also hear how a proper richard nixon impression sounds.

I've got a few more Richard Nixon Clips, this one is "you wont have nixon to kick around anymore", from when he didnt get elected as californian governor

In 1977 Richard Nixon worked on a PR comeback. He met with interviewer David Frost who paid Nixon six hundred thousand dollars for a few interviews. I dont know what that would be in todays money, but without a doubt thats a million or two?

In the interviews, Nixon does admit to some wrong doing,
"I did abuse the power I had as president." He said that at the time of his resignation, he was crippled and that "I said things that were not true." He revealed, "I brought myself down. I gave them a sword and they stuck it in. And they twisted it with relish. And, I guess, if I'd been in their position, I'd have done the same thing".

But still denied CRIMINAL wrong doing. Worldwide, over 45 million viewers saw the Frost interviews.

The Frost interviews were made into a play and recently a movie called Frost/Nixon.

In 1986, Nixon made a address to a newspaper convention, where he impressed people with his worldly knowledge. A headline was "hes back", which was also mentioned in the Futurama episode I played clips from, as "Nixons back!" while the robot Nixon stands on people, fires rockets, says "whos kicking who around now? and breaks into the white house "knock knock mwhahahahhaha". In Foreign affairs Nixon was respected as an elder statesman.

Richard Nixon opened his presidential library in California in 1990. It also has the house Richard Nixon was born in on the site.

Pat Nixon died in 1993 of health problems. Nixon was said to have cried deeply for the first time in his adult life. Ten months later, April 22 1994, Richard Nixon also died, they are both buried at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library.

Thank you very much for listening to this podcast episode, I do hope Tank Riot will make a Nixon episode of their own, so they can correct all the mistakes Im sure to have made.

If you want to contact me, even just to say you listened, send an email to, j a y w o n t d a r t @, I'd appreciate it.

Have a super happy day, bye.

<--End song You Can't Say No To A Soldier plays-->

Written for: Iceland (1942)
Lyric: Mack Gordon
Music: Harry Warren
Year: 1942
Original publisher: Twentieth Century Music Corporation, rights controlled by
Mayfair Music Corp

Listen, little lady, it's the order of the day,
Issued by the highest of authority;
Fellows in the service simply can't be turned away,
You know that defense must get priority.
So, if you're patriotic'lly inclined,
Heed the call to arms, and keep this thought in mind:

Chorus 1:

You can't say, "No," to a soldier,
A sailor or a handsome marine;
No, you can't say, "No," if he wants to dance,
If he's gonna fight, he's got a right to romance;
So, get out your lipstick and powder,
Be beautiful and dutiful, too.
If he's not your type, then it's still o-kay,
You can always kiss him in a sisterly way,

Oh, you can't say, "No,
No, you gotta give in,
If you want him to win for you.

Chorus 2 (from movie)

You can't say, "No," to a soldier,
A sailor or a handsome marine;
No, you can't say, "No," if he wants to dance,

If he's gonna fight, he's got a right to romance;
So, get out your lipstick and powder,
Be beautiful and dutiful, too.
If he says it's cold on those submarines,
You can knit a sweater, but that's not what he means;
Oh, you can't say, "No,"
No, no, no, no, no, no;
No, they're not made of tin,
So, you better give in

If you want him to win for you.

Richard Nixon

Quaker article,

Checkers Speech

1968 election,_1968 article

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